Babies Babies!

This is it. This is the age when you know you can't stop time from moving forward.

My niece, my goddaughter, has a baby of her own. Then more recently, I found out another niece is expecting. Thank goodness my sons aren't married yet.

It used to be that when one of my former students spot me in a mall and proudly show off their babies or toddlers, I could brush the whole aging notion off thinking they were my high school students and that my son back then was in primary school. It made me feel better: I wasn't so old after all. Well, not so this time. This is family. My nieces haven't been toddlers for quite some time.

The other day, I rediscovered John Denver's song Poems, Prayers, and Promises. There is a part that goes:

The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it's cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old

Back in the late 70's and early 80's, it was, at least to me, a very romantic notion. I could picture myself as a kind of earth-goddess granny (I believe in the freedom of imagination, hence the "goddess") playing in the sandbox with my grandchildren and a posse of dogs I'd adopted from the animal shelter. Right now, this very minute, I can't even imagine having a daughter-in-law.

There is a bright side to all this, however, and it's really the fact that there are, once again, babies in the family. And an even brighter side is that this time, as a grandaunt or grandmother, I'm not tasked with disciplining the child. This time, I'm no longer responsible (at least not in any direct way) for the baby's teeth or digestive system; I don't have to worry that I might upset his or her mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I don't even have to scour the shops looking for just the right kind of baby bottle--one guaranteed not to cause gas or crack when dropped.

This time around, I can buy stuff for the baby just because. This time, the criteria can be fun and cute instead of practical (although nowadays, most toymakers have integrated the features) and will outlive the destructive years. And the crying spells? I don't mind dealing with a fussy, crying baby specially when the baby isn't mine!

In a couple of months, my niece will be here with her son in tow. I'm looking forward to carrying Anderson around and discovering the wisdom behind his eyes (which are my niece's eyes!), coaxing smiles, and maybe rolling around on the floor with him. It'll be practice for when I have grandchildren of my own, I reckon. Maybe with enough practice, I can still be that earth-goddess granny I envisioned myself to be.